The Present Moment Crossroad and Self-Love

Dr. Pinkie Feinstein, The Psycho-Creative Institute, Israel
The Psycho-Creative Journal Volume 5 Article 2, July 2026

Abstract

The ability to become more fully connected to the present moment is widely regarded as an important goal in psychological growth and well-being. However, far less attention has been given to the psychological conditions that enable individuals to access and remain within the present moment in everyday life. This article proposes that self-love is one of the central conditions for strengthening both access to and participation in the present moment crossroads, the psycho-creative concept describing the ongoing point at which individuals encounter opportunities for growth, choice, and transformation.

From a psycho-creative perspective, many individuals arrive at the present moment carrying an unmet need for love. In the absence of self-love, the present moment may become emotionally threatening because it exposes an ongoing experience of inner deficiency. As a result, attention is often redirected toward an endless search for external substitutes for love, distancing individuals from the developmental opportunities available in the present moment.

The article examines the cultural myths that discourage the practice of self-love and proposes that self-love should be understood not merely as an attitude but as a daily psychological practice. Through repeated acts of kindness, encouragement, and emotional support directed toward oneself, individuals gradually strengthen both their relationship with themselves and their ability to remain present.

Finally, the article proposes that self-love serves as an essential bridge to the present moment crossroads. As the relationship with oneself becomes more loving, individuals gain greater emotional safety to remain present, hear the questions emerging from the crossroads, trust their positive passion, and translate it into meaningful action. Self-love is therefore presented as a central psycho-creative process that not only enhances psychological well-being but also enables deeper participation in the ongoing developmental opportunities contained within every present moment.

The Present Moment Crossroads and the Need for Love

The psycho-creative approach proposes that every present moment crossroads is also a meeting point between the individual and one of the most fundamental human needs: the need for love. Although people often seek love through relationships, achievement, approval, or belonging, the primary source of love is found within the relationship they develop with themselves. Every present moment therefore contains not only choices about action but also an opportunity to strengthen or weaken this inner relationship.

Human beings are continuously motivated by the need to experience love. Yet many people are only partially aware of the central role this need plays in shaping their emotions, decisions, and behavior. When the need for love is not sufficiently fulfilled, individuals often experience a persistent yet difficult-to-define sense of deficiency. This inner lack may be expressed through low self-worth, self-doubt, a diminished sense of deserving love, or a chronic feeling of not being “good enough.” Although these experiences take different forms, they often reflect the same underlying absence of self-love.

From a psycho-creative perspective, the present moment crossroads becomes especially significant because it is the place where this inner relationship is repeatedly revealed. The individual does not arrive at the present moment as a neutral observer. They arrive carrying the quality of the relationship they have with themselves. If that relationship is characterized by warmth, support, and love, the present moment is more likely to be experienced as a place of openness and possibility. If it is characterized by deficiency and emotional distance, the same present moment may feel uncomfortable or even threatening.

This article proposes that self-love is not merely another psychological resource but one of the central conditions that determine how individuals experience the present moment crossroads. The following sections examine how the absence of self-love encourages an endless search for love outside the self, why the present moment may become emotionally threatening, and how a regular practice of self-love can transform the present moment crossroads into a place of safety, growth, and positive passion.

The Search for Love Outside the Self

When individuals lose contact with self-love, they rarely stop searching for love. Instead, the search simply changes direction. Rather than cultivating love within themselves, as the primary source truly available for men, they begin looking for it through external sources such as approval, admiration, achievement, success, relationships, recognition, or belonging. While these experiences may provide moments of satisfaction, they cannot permanently replace the inner relationship a person has with themselves.

From a psycho-creative perspective, this outward search gradually redirects attention away from the present moment crossroads. Instead of asking, “How can I meet myself with greater love right now?” the individual becomes preoccupied with questions such as, “How can I gain more appreciation?”, “How can I avoid rejection?”, or “What must I achieve in order to feel worthy?” The present moment is no longer experienced as a place of connection but as a stepping stone toward obtaining something that appears to exist elsewhere.

However, this shift of attention actually diminishes the connection with the present moment that its main theme and focus is one’s relationship with himself, and this includes one’s capability of generating love from within, for the self that needs that love.

This constant search often creates the experience of psychological wandering. Attention is repeatedly pulled away from the present toward imagined future solutions or toward unresolved experiences from the past. The individual may become increasingly occupied with changing circumstances, convincing others, improving performance, or collecting evidence of personal worth. Yet because the original lack of self-love remains unresolved, each external achievement tends to provide only temporary relief before the search begins again.

The psycho-creative approach therefore suggests that many people are not escaping the present moment itself. They are escaping the emotional experience of meeting themselves without sufficient self-love. The more attention is invested in searching for external substitutes, the weaker the connection becomes to the present moment crossroads.

Restoring self-love gradually reverses this process by shifting the search inward, allowing individuals to discover that one of the deepest sources of love has been available within them all along.

Why the Present Moment Can Feel Threatening?

For individuals who lack self-love, both as a habit of practice as well as a state of mind, the present moment may represent a place of uncomfortable emotional exposure. When external distractions become quieter, they are left face to face with an inner experience of deficiency of love within them, that has often been present for years, yet not fully addressed.

This perspective suggests that many people avoid the present moment because they unconsciously prefer to avoid the emotional reality that becomes visible when they stop escaping themselves. The present moment reveals not only what is happening around them but also the quality of the relationship they have with themselves. When that relationship is characterized by criticism, emotional neglect, or the absence of love, remaining fully present may become psychologically challenging.

As a result, many forms of constant activity may function as subtle strategies for avoiding this encounter. Endless productivity, excessive social engagement, compulsive entertainment, chronic worry, or an ongoing search for external achievements may all serve to keep attention away from the emotional experience of meeting oneself in the present moment. The more painful the inner relationship becomes, the stronger the tendency to remain psychologically occupied elsewhere.

The psycho-creative approach therefore proposes that strengthening the connection to the present moment is not simply a matter of practicing attention. It also requires transforming the emotional experience that awaits the individual there. As self-love grows, the present moment gradually becomes less threatening and more welcoming. Instead of confronting an inner absence of love, individuals increasingly encounter a relationship that supports, comforts, and encourages them from within.

This way, self-love practice and growth serves as a fundamental bridge for people to “get back home” to themselves, to the most important part of their relationship with themselves – the present moment, where they avoided attending for long time due to self-love deficiency and poor awareness of this situation and its costs.

The Cultural Myth Against Self-Love

The relationship people develop with themselves is not shaped only by personal experience. It is also influenced by the culture in which they grow. From a psycho-creative perspective, one of the major obstacles to self-love is the widespread cultural belief that loving oneself is somehow undesirable. Self-love is often confused with selfishness, narcissism, arrogance, or excessive self-focus. As a result, many people learn that directing love toward themselves is something to avoid rather than to cultivate.

These myths and misconceptions actually serve as social barriers between people and their base of relationship with themselves – the present moment and its contribution to mental health and growth.

This wrong idea about self-love has important psychological consequences. While individuals are encouraged to care for others, support others, and express love toward others, they are rarely taught to practice these same behaviors toward themselves. Few people receive guidance in speaking kindly to themselves, encouraging themselves, celebrating themselves, or intentionally creating moments of inner affection. Consequently, self-love remains underdeveloped, even though it is one of the most important psychological resources for growth and emotional well-being.

At the time, this pattern leads to continuous detachment from the present moment because self-love acts as a kind of a “key” to enter the present moment, to stay there and to engage with the transformational environment that takes place over there.

The psycho-creative approach further proposes that this cultural myth weakens the individual’s relationship with the present moment crossroads. Without self-love, the present moment is more likely to be associated with emotional deficiency, self-criticism, or the need to search for love elsewhere. Instead of becoming a place of inner connection, it becomes a place many people unconsciously learn to avoid.

For this reason, the psycho-creative approach regards self-love not as an act of self-indulgence but as a healthy developmental practice. Learning to direct love toward oneself does not reduce one’s capacity to love others. On the contrary, it creates the emotional foundation from which individuals can remain more fully present with themselves, respond more freely to positive passion, and develop healthier relationships with the people around them.

Self-Love as a Present-Moment Practice

From a psycho-creative perspective, self-love is not merely a belief or an emotional attitude. It is a practice. Like any meaningful relationship, the relationship with oneself is strengthened through repeated moments of attention, care, encouragement, and affection. Every intentional act of self-love becomes an opportunity to reconnect with the present moment crossroads.

These practices may take many different forms. Smiling at oneself in the mirror, speaking loving words to oneself, writing self-love letters, acknowledging personal efforts, taking time for meaningful experiences, or consciously offering oneself positive attention are all examples of simple yet powerful acts of self-love. Although such actions may appear ordinary, they gradually reshape the quality of the individual’s inner relationship.

Each act of self-love also strengthens the connection to the present moment. When individuals intentionally direct warmth and attention toward themselves, they are no longer escaping the present in search of love elsewhere. Instead, they become fully engaged with themselves in the “now.” The present moment is transformed from a place of emotional deficiency into a place where love is actively created and experienced.

As self-love becomes a regular practice, the present moment crossroads gradually becomes more familiar and emotionally safe. Individuals learn that each moment offers not only choices about what to do but also an opportunity to renew the relationship they have with themselves.

In this way, self-love becomes much more than an emotional experience. It becomes an ongoing practice of returning to the present moment with greater awareness, kindness, and inner connection that further enables the main theme of the crossroad of the present moment – to connect with the positive passion and to forward it into practical steps of realization.

Self-Love Creates the Inner Conditions for Passion

As self-love becomes a consistent practice, individuals gradually develop a stronger relationship with the present moment crossroads. Instead of approaching the present with fear, deficiency, or self-doubt, they begin approaching it with curiosity, trust, and emotional safety. This shift creates the psychological conditions that allow positive passion to become more visible and more accessible.

From a psycho-creative perspective, positive passion requires an inner environment in which it feels safe to emerge. Every new desire initially appears as something fragile. It may seem unrealistic, uncertain, unconventional, or even irrational. Without self-love, these early expressions of passion are often immediately challenged by fear, self-criticism, or the need for external approval. As a result, many passions disappear before they have an opportunity to develop.

Self-love changes this inner dialogue. Rather than asking whether a new desire is reasonable enough to deserve attention, self-love first welcomes its appearance. It creates an atmosphere in which the individual feels supported while exploring new possibilities. This does not mean that every passion must be acted upon immediately. Rather, it means that every passion is first received with interest, respect, and encouragement before it is evaluated or developed into action.

As self-love deepens, the questions hidden within the present moment crossroads become easier to hear. “What is my positive passion asking of me right now?” and “What is the first step I can realistically take?” are no longer experienced as threatening questions. They become natural invitations to growth.

Self-love therefore serves not only as emotional support but also as the psychological foundation that enables individuals to hear, trust, and gradually realize their positive passion.

Beyond Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is widely regarded as an important goal of psychological development. From a psycho-creative perspective, however, acceptance alone may not be sufficient for fully engaging with the present moment crossroads. Acceptance allows individuals to acknowledge their thoughts, emotions, and desires without rejecting them. Self-love goes one step further. It actively welcomes, encourages, and nurtures what emerges within the individual.

This distinction becomes particularly important in relation to positive passion. New passions often appear quietly and tentatively. They may seem unrealistic, unconventional, immature, or inconsistent with previous plans. A person may initially feel embarrassed by them or dismiss them before they have an opportunity to develop. Acceptance may allow these desires to exist, but love gives them permission to grow.

The psycho-creative approach therefore proposes that positive passion requires more than tolerance. It requires an atmosphere of emotional generosity. When individuals respond to themselves with warmth, encouragement, and genuine affection, even uncertain or unconventional desires become psychologically safe to explore. Love creates the inner freedom that allows passion to evolve from an initial impulse into meaningful action.

For this reason, self-love occupies a unique place within the psycho-creative approach. It does not merely reduce emotional suffering or improve self-esteem. It creates the emotional environment in which the present moment crossroads can fully serve its developmental purpose. When individuals meet themselves with generous love rather than simple acceptance, they become increasingly capable of trusting their inner guidance and transforming positive passion into lived experience.

The Present Moment Crossroads as an Encounter of Love

Throughout this article, the present moment crossroads has been presented not simply as a point of decision but as a place where individuals repeatedly encounter themselves. Every present moment offers an opportunity to strengthen or weaken the relationship one has with oneself. The quality of this relationship largely determines whether the crossroads is experienced as a place of fear and deficiency or as a place of openness, safety, opportunity and growth.

The psycho-creative approach proposes that self-love transforms the emotional meaning of the present moment. Rather than arriving at the crossroads searching for love elsewhere, individuals who cultivate self-love arrive already connected to an inner source of support. This inner relationship allows them to remain present long enough to hear the deeper questions hidden within the crossroads, especially the question of positive passion and the first steps toward its realization.

The article has also suggested that self-love is not merely an emotional state but an ongoing practice. Through repeated acts of kindness, encouragement, and positive attention directed toward oneself, individuals gradually strengthen both their relationship with self-love and their ability to remain connected to the present moment. Each self-love gesture serves as a potential bridge back from disconnecting into connecting with the present moment.

The two processes of strengthening self-relationship and getting closer to the present moment develop together, reinforcing one another over time.

From a psycho-creative perspective, the present moment crossroads is therefore an encounter of love. It is the place where self-love and positive passion meet. Self-love provides the emotional safety to remain present, while positive passion provides the developmental direction for growth and transformation. As individuals cultivate both, they become increasingly capable of participating in their lives with greater freedom, vitality, and authenticity, one present moment crossroads at a time.

Reference

Feinstein, P. (2026) The Present Moment Crossroad and Positive Passion. The Psycho-Creative Journal, 5(1).
Feinstein, P. (2026). The Journey to Healing Passion. The Psycho-Creative Press
Feinstein, P. (2025). Self-love: Soul’s center and the basis for all emotional healing and growth. The Psycho-Creative Journal, 1(1).
Feinstein, P. (2025). Exaggerated self-criticism: The hidden agent behind emotional difficulties. The Psycho-Creative Journal, 1(2).
Feinstein, P. (2023). Self-Love, The Sacred Commitment. The Psycho-Creative Press